..............

Rain :")

I miss saying "I love you" and "I miss you" freely and hearing it back from her.

Wkwk. Dont get me wrong. I've moved on... as in... not pining over her anymore :) But moving on doesnt mean I stop loving her?

It's not stupid tho. I have my reasons why I still love her.

Cause it's just natural.

But, why?

I dunno.

There's so much thing to love about her.

But that's not the reason why i love her... you know.

I just do.

Wkwk.

And Im not being pathetic at all :D

Cause I know she cares about me so much. She cares about me as her bestfriend. And seriously. It's more that enough. The important thing is, we do care and support each other.

Okay.

Good-night :)

Dont worry, myself!

....

i just wanna cry so much. ohmygod. today was sucks. too hectic. my anxiety was acting up again and i fucking hate it. I thought i dealt with that long time ago but apparently not.

Tingkatkan spiritualmu, myself! You can do this!

....

i know. she wont ever read this. but tiny part of my heart hope that one day... she remember about this blog, open it, and then read this.

i write this post because i dont have enough courage to say all of this thing to her... that i still love her. that my heart's still going warm whenever i see her smile. and it hurts because i know i cant ever have her in this short-life. and it hurts... because im the only one who feels like this. semacam... aku stuck di sini, sementara dia sudah merdeka dengan hatinya. Sudah bebas.

I wanna be like her as soon as possible. Emotionally independent. Nggak lagi berharap.

Dan setiap kali aku ngerasa sudah bisa ngelepas, terus nggak sengaja stalking dan lihat fotonya, atau pas ketemu dia, rasanya sedih lagi aja. Sedih karena... masih di posisi yang sama. Sendirian. Cuma aku yang tahu. Dan harus berusaha biasa aja.

She's so beautiful this day. If only i was a guy. So that I have chance to actually marry her. Or... I dunno. Kalo cowok juga gak jamin sih. Emang dia mau sama aku.

Lol.

Ya sudah. Sesi galau selesai. Mari kembali ke hal-hal positif.

Rain

Brings lots of memories. Sometimes it sucks so much.